Today was a great day behind the drum set at church. I think that today, I can officially say that I became a drummer. I overcame my fear of the fill. I added cymbal crashes in nice places even though it was unrehearsed. I drove myself crazy worrying about them. I often added things around in in the beat when I could play by myself with no one listening, but to put it with some music in front of people was a different story. I almost did it out of principle in addition to the fact that it fit with the emotion and tone of the music. I did it to overcome my fears. I jumped out and took a risk. I had a couple of mishaps, but jumped back in without anyone noticing. I crunched away at those cymbals and still kept a beat and I am sure it was more interesting. Several people noticed and even commented on how good it was this Sunday. I jumped out and took a risk, to improvise and drum like I never drummed before. I didn't really try anything stupid. I knew what I could do when I practiced and wanted to be able to apply it with some confidence during the worship service. I am now a drummer. Though I may never be Neil Peart or that guy from Free Association, I can drum! I am happy with myself and what I have accomplished in this area. I can do it!
I may not be Freud, but I can listen.
I may not be Harry Wang, but I can teach.
I may feel sometimes that my efforts don't measure.
I may sometimes let it get me down.
I may get wrapped up in my emotions.
I may forget what good is all around.
I can choose what to do with my inner battles
I can choose to keep looking inside.
I can choose do dwell on what is wrong with me.
Then I choose to miss all that is right.
