I know it has been a long time since I have written. I am busier than ever. My teeth are getting straighter. Charlie is walking. Jackie and I are still working at the same place in the same department, teaching the same subject. We cannot wait for this year to be over. Next year we will be somewhere else. I hope that I will be a counselor at a school some where. If not, I am not opposed to bar tending or driving a school bus or whatever I have to do to make a living. But, I am sure something will work out, I may teach another year somewhere else. We are ready to change out our problems. Old for new.
The reason I titled this leadership is due to an ironic experience I have had as a counselor in training. More than once, I have heard people describe me as a leader or "our leader" in reference to the role I play in our class. This last week during a group exercise, we were asked to write notes to other members and place them in a cup, anonymously. I was impressed with what people had to say about me and then when I shared which one of them impressed me the most, I picked the one that used the word leader.
As many of you know, I used to be a preacher. I felt the call when I was 16 and pursued it through to a Master's degree. Shortly after that, realizing that I was plum depressed, I saw my true motivation for ministry and how the reality of church life was not meeting that need. I think my motives were pure, but there were some factors that I was not aware of. I was about 27 at this time. I went into teaching shortly after that.
Back up a few years to when I was 19 or 20. I was frustrated with my life at church when I was in college. Compared to my time in the high school youth group, I was not a leader anymore (in retrospect, what I was saying is that I was not getting as much attention as I used to). While lamenting to a professor of mine, who does not work at the college anymore, he said to me 'I just don't see you as a leader.' That is the last thing my poor heart needed to hear at the time. Thanks dude! (This should be titled "This Bird's For You PartIII"). I was hurt. Pastoring and leadership went hand in hand in my mind and if I could not be a leader, I couldn't be a pastor. I was crushed.
Anyway, years later, people are calling me a leader. The irony of the whole thing is.... When I was setting out to be a leader, it wasn't working for me. Now, I am setting out to be the best counselor I can be. I am studying and using the sum of my past experience to contribute to discussions and help others when they need help academically or just an ear to listen to them. I get things done first and have many times shared my work so they can see a good example of what the professor expects, on my own accord and under the encouragement of the professor. While being a leader who influences others had been furthest from my mind, that is when it happened. I was called a leader.... over and over again. It is pretty nice. If it ends, I will be fine with that. So, take that former professor who left in a cloud of controversy, This Bird's for you. (Yeah, he was right at the time, but could have found a more encouraging and growth fostering way to say it). Later!
