Charlie Clause!

This year has been a whirlwind. As many of you know, I started out this sememster (I am a teacher and perpetual student and will forever be talking about semesters) like gangbusters. I exercised regularly. I took my first semester of counseling courses. I was teaching, being a new drummer in the church band, and enjoying life. I felt disciplined and focused for once. Well, maybe at least for a bit, I had to feel like I could accomplish these things before I was ready for what was coming next. I became a dad.

While most people have nine months to wait expectantly for this reality, I woke up on a Monday morning expecting to go to work and slightly mourning what looked like an adoption, whose possibility we only knew about for a week, fell through. I convinced myself it wasn't going to happen. Jackie was convinced that it was going to happen. I was wrong, thankfully.

I guess I was sheilding myself from further disappointment as well as the reality that my life as I knew it was going to change. I love my wife and the life we had together for more than seven years. I was spoiled. Not to mention, nobody gets a kid that quick. We were only on the adoption list for a few weeks. Before that, we were intending on doing foster care. They pay you for foster care. For adoption, we pay them. The fee didn't scare me, knowing that we would have a few years before it was due.... NOT.

In the middle of that Monday, October 30th, we got a call that the baby we were going to meet for the first time a few days before was in fact waiting for us to pick him up. We got our classes covered and hauled ass to where we were supposed to be to get the baby.

We went to the apartment where his loving mom who was overwhelmed and had her hands full with too many other kids was graciously waiting with the social workers to turn over her child to a few strangers whom she only knows from a scrap book. Aside from my friends who think I am a little crazy, everyone can rest knowing that we went through a pretty extensive screening to get to that point.

We spent some time with the mom and the baby, whose name was Joshua at the time we met him, and then we left with him in our arms. As I turned back, I noticed that the birth mom was crying as we were living. The crying was contagious. Jackie and I were both crying as we were walking away. It was both a sad and happy moment for us. It is only recently that I can imagine what that mom must have gone through. I couldn't imagine having to give up baby Charlie. When given the opportunity, we gave him a family name. He is after all our family and too young to know what his name was. (We are going to be totally honest with him, including having pictures of his birth mom around).

He has grown a lot the last two months. He is eating and pooping and talking and sleeping and grabbing things and using his legs. He smiles. He takes great pictures. He can pull out his pacifier and cry for it because it is gone. He is getting teeth.

I have also grown a lot the last two months. My franticness is quite unecessary sometimes. We are seeing some progress on the fee side. We have found more money by virtue of not eating out all the time any more. Our gracious church provided meals for us the first several weeks. We were showered with plenty of pampers. I don't think we have bought diapers yet. Our family and friends have all been wonderful with furniture and other items through showers and other opportunities.

This Christmas my step dad, mom, sister, brother in law, neices, and nephew cooked up a scam to redirect part of what they would normally get from my mom and step dad to help us pay for Charlie... It was the "bread for Charlie" campaign. Mom gave us a bread plate for Christmas. Wow. Then she passed out identical boxes to everyone including Charlie. When we opened them, there was a card shaped like a loaf of bread with 50 bucks inside. I pulled mine out of the card.... Yippy. So did Jackie. We like getting money. Everyone else had bread too. Then, my mom asked for the bread plate and then told everyone to put their bread in. We thought she was a little crazy at first. I began to realize what was going on. Jackie, who hadn't realized it yet said jokingly, "That bread can go to my house." Well, the bread came back to our house and has been used to pay down the adoption.

After a few months, what was close to 10,000 dollars to be due by the end of April has been paid down to 3,500 dollars. The next few months, my payments will be minimal as property taxes and tuition needs to get worked out. But, things are more hopeful at this point than I could have imagined they could be. I really worry to much.

And having a few weeks off between Thanksgiving and Christmas ( for paternity leave) couldn't have come at a better time. I was able to work through some of my anxiety about being a dad, the sticker shock of being a dad, and complete my classes for the semester.... "sliding into home." Exercise? Maybe for this years resolution. I can set some reasonable goals instead of trying to destroy the mountain in a day. Something is better than nothing.

Christmas was great having Charlie around. He got lots of wonderful gifts from family all over the country and he met his great grandfather, Paw Paw Charley, who he is mostly named after. To see the smile on Paw Paw's face was worth a million dollars. To witness baby Charlie's growth the last few months was priceless. (Believe it or not, I did not intend to create a MasterCard commercial out of this. I realized it after I wrote it.) All that being said. This year, in our house, Santa didn't bring presents, he was the present.

Baby Fun.

Being a father is both rewarding and tiring. I always thought I understood what my mom and dad went through when I was a baby, especially after babysitting a few times as a teen. Now I really understand. Except for the times that my gracious family and some friends we know who are willing come to give us a break, my life is tethered to the life of Baby Charlie. He can't do anything or go anywhere unless we carry him to it or put it in his mouth to consume. He has a full range of emotions, none of which I can in anyway take personally or get agrivated at, even when he finds a tuft of arm hair and grabs it or he is screaming at the top of his lungs. He is a baby, almost helpless. Yet, he is learning quick. When crying in bed, I finally give in to see if I can help him get to sleep. I go in and he smiles with a "gothca" look. He can talk to me pretty well now too. After a gaaa or a gooo, he gives me a sly grin, almost as if he is proud of himself for the joke he just told me. I laugh along with him, between the times that I am tossing his soft toy at him... our first few games of catch. He catches it with his face honestly and he just smiles. If I leave it there long enough, he will start to hug it and then eventually, it will end up back on his face where I put it in the first place. Yep, I laugh at his jokes even though I have no clue what it is he is saying, though I know he just told me the best punch line I have ever heard...... "gaaa..... gooo......"

Cat Daddy.

The wierdest thing happened the other day. When we first got Charlie and brought him home, the cat peeked around the car carrier and gave him a nice hiss. After the days went by, kitty would sit by me when I was holding the baby and sniff at him a little. Finally, one of our church members came over to bring a meal. She picked up the baby and kitty made a bee line for her and was very insistent that he was near her. J tried many times to move the kitty and he kept going back. Was he protecting baby brother? Maybe so. It was just weird. Now I call him Cat Daddy.

What to do?

As you all know, we have adopted a beutiful baby boy. I am so happy. He came at the perfect time in our life. He is a wonderfully easy and healthy baby to have. He is a definite blessing. I love him and so does his mom.

But, the hefty adoption fee did not come at a good time (we ended up going through an adoption program rather than foster care). I already wrote a check for the first chunk of it, and have until the end of April to come up with the rest. I also have property taxes that just came in too.

I have considered getting a second job, but that would put me out of my counseling classes (another expense) for a while and prolong the time I have until I can practice what I would love to do as well as make a little more. If I stay in the classes, emergency certification for school counseling could be a possibility for next year, but not certain. I could get a few loans and pay them off eventually, but hate to go in further debt, but it could be worth it if I stay in school and get the job that I want and use the extra money I would be making to pay it back, but that is just a remote possibility.

So, if anyone out there has a few thousand bucks laying around, you can send it my way :), but most of all, pray that I will know what to do. I will accept help if offered, but don't expect it. Fundamentally I know this is my responsibility and my challenge to face. My professors said I could leave our cohort group for a years leave of absense if I needed to. I will have to decide that by the middle of January when the next semester starts. I have till January to make one decision and then April to have the money, but for the time being I am a little frantic about this big hurdle and all the different factors involved. I just want to make the right decision for my now bigger family.

Another thing that could be helpful is if anyone has any creative fundraising/easy business ideas, let me know. It could be something that works for me. Having an objective view on this could be helpful.

Thanks for all your prayers, looks like we have the baby we have been praying for.

Lately

Lately, my life has become fuller, faster, more disciplined than I ever expected possible. I did fall slightly today, with fried food and key lime pie and a cup of crappy coffee. Hopefully that phrase will become a trademark."CCC" a friend says to another and they all know what they are speaking of. Maybe the bottom of the pot. Heh?

I have been reading my ass off as well as walking it off too. I finally got down past my 10 lbs. barrier (thank God for the braces). I am now at 11 pounds, but I am sure I gained some due to the earlier situation. But overall, my life is better than it ever has been and I don't mind taking some credit. When I fall on my bum, I must take credit there too. I have recognized the power I have over my own life. I can do things that no one else can do for me. I can change things that no one else can change for me. Rather than sitting around whining about what I percieve as God's inaction in my life, I am very happy getting up and doing it myself. Which these breakthroughs are both answered prayer as well as being a good steward of my life and time as far as I am concerned. For the time being, I feel like I am living.

I am not as apt to avoid discomfort as I am usually prone. I feel pretty good as I have been able to embrace the good and bad of life that needs to be worked through. I have finally recieved the call to being responsible. Please pray for me that I do not hang up that call.

Here is my psychology quote of the week (or more, depending on when I can get back to the blog) from Feldman's Lifespan Development text. I though this was hilarious.

"By encoding the information that four legs, a wagging tail, and barking are often found together, we learn very early in life to understand the concept of "dog.""

And, as most of you have read, still waiting for baby.

Later!

My life, the whirlwind.

Sorry I have been away for a while. School is up and running. I am still drumming. I do update my braces blog still. Grad classes are time consuming. I am learning a lot. More later.

I

Today was a great day behind the drum set at church. I think that today, I can officially say that I became a drummer. I overcame my fear of the fill. I added cymbal crashes in nice places even though it was unrehearsed. I drove myself crazy worrying about them. I often added things around in in the beat when I could play by myself with no one listening, but to put it with some music in front of people was a different story. I almost did it out of principle in addition to the fact that it fit with the emotion and tone of the music. I did it to overcome my fears. I jumped out and took a risk. I had a couple of mishaps, but jumped back in without anyone noticing. I crunched away at those cymbals and still kept a beat and I am sure it was more interesting. Several people noticed and even commented on how good it was this Sunday. I jumped out and took a risk, to improvise and drum like I never drummed before. I didn't really try anything stupid. I knew what I could do when I practiced and wanted to be able to apply it with some confidence during the worship service. I am now a drummer. Though I may never be Neil Peart or that guy from Free Association, I can drum! I am happy with myself and what I have accomplished in this area. I can do it!

I may not be Freud, but I can listen.
I may not be Harry Wang, but I can teach.

I may feel sometimes that my efforts don't measure.
I may sometimes let it get me down.
I may get wrapped up in my emotions.
I may forget what good is all around.

I can choose what to do with my inner battles
I can choose to keep looking inside.
I can choose do dwell on what is wrong with me.
Then I choose to miss all that is right.

I'm in!

This will be another in my string of short posts. I had my UHCL interview today for the Counseling Cohort that will be taking place within my district. I was a "shoe in." There was no reservation on the part of my interviewer/future advisor. He said I have a lot of strengths to contribute. I signed the paper and now I have a few weeks to figure out exactly how I am going to pay for it.... Maybe I can set up a pay pal account and solicit my readers for donations..... ; )
Later.

Smart Wife!

Teach took the test and she is a Regional Genius too! (I have to admit that she beat me by 5pts.)

My personality.... another online gimmick! (Happy 50th entry to me!)

My IQ... yes, I did an online quiz.

I am one below the highest ranking category! To hear me talk with my orthodontic appliances, you would think I was "special" : )

And the walls are vibrating!

It was not a surprise to me at all on a lazy Friday summer afternoon when my walls in my house and the large metal wall hanging started rattling. It was not a surprise at all as I watched the whole thing unravel on TV. It started on a Friday after noon as one 58 year old man by the last name of Pool was evading police officers after robbing a dry cleaner and shooting at another police officer. The man could have gotten away except that he had let his nerves get the best of him as he was being followed by police officers in a helicopter, because his truck was nearby the incident and resembled the reported vehicle. What was he driving? He was driving a white Chevy truck with an extended cab. As we all know, this could be a multitude of trucks. But, a guilty conscience as well as hovering helicopters got the best of him and he soon began driving erratically, taking police on a chase through many suburban municipalities as well as the big city itself. All this time, the chase (as many chases are these days) was being broadcast on television. It was exciting and a great opportunity for advertisers as America is a glutton for such action. This man did not know where he was going. This was obvious as images of him turning around in culdesacs, parking lots, and using his four wheel drive to get through fields (something the cops could not do in their cars) were broadcast on the television screen. Considering where this man was at the time the broadcast started, I never imagined he would end up in my backyard (not literally). But as the helicopter pursuit ensued, we saw that he was getting closer and closer to my suburban neighborhood and nearby highway until my walls were vibrating and I could hear the faint sound of sirens nearby. What did I do? I got in my jeep and intercepted him at a nearby cut off, being familiar with local roads and where they go, running him and myself off the road. He was so shocked by the incident that he did not have time to reach for his gun, the gun he used to shoot at the officer earlier that day. I busted his window in with my tire iron and mangled his face with my fist. Next, I grabbed the gun that he had on the dashboard and held him up until police got there. Now, for what really happened...... After watching this guy drive crazily through the city (he made some mistakes.... he could have gotten away while U-Turning through a freeway underpass while cops were not following.... take someone elses car while he was hiding from the helicopter and go the other way.... he had a gun for goodness sakes.... It should have been obvious) and end up near my house, I stepped outside my house and in the sky there were three helicopters hovering over my neighborhood in pursuit of this man who decided to go driving through a nearby golf course. After that, he got on the toll way, he drove for a while until his tires were popped, he got off the toll way, ran into a car and then ended up in a ditch after a few bad turns.... I was almost on the news that day. : )

The End.

Evolution must be true.

Anybody who does not believe in the theory of evolution must not be very smart. All you got to do is look around you and see how obvious it is. For instance, look around your local department store at the mannequins. All through my life, the female mannequins looked appropriate, but now they have nipples to boot. Where did they come from? Surely they are far superior to their nippless ancestors. I never noticed them when I was a young kid or teen. Trust me, if they were there, I would have noticed. The only explanation for this is that the forces of evolution are at work. We are now observing a higher race of mannequin taking over the local department stores. This race of mannequin is becoming much more apparent in the world. Survival of the fittest.

They probably even get paid more since they have nipples. It won't be much longer and we will see mannequins protesting on the news for equal rights. Those with and those without should be paid the same.

Seriously, what is the value of having mannequins with nipples over those that don't? Ladies, does it make it easier for you to shop if the clothes are displayed on the mannequin with the nipples tenting up the fabric? Do you go into the store and think to yourself..."Well.... now I know what it will look like in colder weather. Thank God for the new manequinn. I think I will buy that dress." Do you appreciate the new mannequin or is your shopping intellegence insuted? Lets get real, what lady in their right mind would go out in public looking like that? If you have seen these mannequinns, you know what I mean. If a lady went out like that, everyone would be insulted for her lack of undergarment or praising her for liberating women from the bondage of the bra.

So for a more moderate and realistic approach, I would advocate that stores put bras on the mannequin before clothing it. It would alleviate the concerns of many husbands ahead of time. No longer would they get asked...."Can you see my bra through that?" That would be a good use for these mannequins with nipples since there predecessor did not need a bra to conceal them and it would be a better resemblence of the modern shopper. Isn't that what mannequins are meant to do.

But men, be on alert. I doubt your wife or girlfriend would find it acceptable to be staring at these nipples. How will you answer her when she asks you what you are staring at? Is it better to say mannequin than the flesh and blood alternative? I think either way you will be in trouble. Be on guard and don't say I didn't warn you.

Interview.

Well, I have an interview next week for the counseling program given through UHCL in my school district. That means the classes are given locally rather than at the UHCL campus. If I get accepted, I will be taking more grad classes which will eventually qualify me to take the test and become a school counselor. After that, I can get more supervision and become a Licensed Professional Counselor away from schools. And when I am an LPC, my schedule will be flexible enough to become a rock star.
; ) We will see how it goes.

So Hard To Decide!

This picture was taken at my friends Christa and John's house. They even let me bring the duckies home! They make bath time lots of fun. Remember, you can see a larger picture if you click on it.... For me, it is amazing the difference I notice my braces making especially on my front four teeth in the bottom row. They are lining up more since this picture was taken just about 4 weeks ago.

Good Sunday. Drumming Away.

I will start off by saying I had a pretty good Sunday again. This week, I took my own Bass guitar to church, so my mom won't feel bad about spending that money 16 years ago and then I was asked to play the drums this week. I have never played the drums for an "audience" before (and for all you hyper spirituals out there, I know what you are thinking.... "Jesus is the only audience you should play for at church....blah blah blah") That is easy to say to someone who has done this before, but if you can't keep the beat it sure can put a damper on the worship service and make the leader run his hand across his neck to tell me to cut it out. Well, I sat through practice and rather than being told I wasn't ready, I played for the service. It wasn't perfect, but I did it. I kept a beat. I used a simple cymbal crash as a fill between the verse and chorus. Yippy! The music guy, whose name is Jon to protect the innocent was thankful and said I did good and everyone else said it was good. It worked and thats all that matters to me my first time out. I will go back next week. Who knows what I will be playing next week.

One big thing I learned through the experience is not to go through any reflecting while playing drums. As I was playing I noticed the obvious. There was Laura singing (whose name has been changed to protect the innocent) and her husband Jon on the guitar leading the songs and people joyfully singing praises to God and me playing the drums.... Me Playing the Drums! I always wanted to play the drums and now I am playing the drums more than just playing around with the drums. Wow. I am about to cry.... I can't cry when I am playing the drums... Hold back those tears, I can cry later... Holy Crap! I am crying while I am playing the drums. Can't stop in the middle of a song. Got to keep drumming..... Thank goodness no one saw me cry.... Teach saw my hands rub my eyes between songs and it all made sense too her when I told her I was crying.

The desire of my heart fulfilled. Brings Joy and happiness. Is our heart's desire the voice of God, the result of how he made us? Sure. I think so. I experienced it today as many people do.

This may seem contradictory to my previous post, but the real question is, where and how does God lead us and how can we know that it is God's voice and not us unknowingly using God to prop our desires. Hmm.

More on Sundays....
Finally, I met some friends from cyberspace. Phil and Jenny, (not their real names) stumbled into my church tonight. They are a wonderful couple and they do not have fangs or anything. Their son is just as bright as they mention in their blogs. He is full of life and energy. It was a surreal experience. Here are some people who I have been conversing with (or sometimes tormenting) with my blog comments for months now and it was like meeting them for the first time and yet it wasn't, because we all know what is going on in each others lives because we read about each other on a regular basis. It was neat. I hope my drumming was satisfactory to these music pros.... hehe.

Wrestling with Prayer.

What does prayer do? Why do we pray?
As most of you know, I have made it a pass time, wrestling with, deconstructing, reconstructing, and pondering aspects of faith. Right now, I am stuck on prayer and God's leadership.

I have to wonder, why it is we pray for things or things to happen. Does it really make a difference? Would the things that happen to us, for us, with us, against us, happen whether or not we pray for them. I used to fully believe that prayer changed the universe. I used to think that the things that happened, when I prayed for them, happened because I prayed for them. When they didn't happen, I just figured it was God's "no." When bad stuff happened, I figured it was God trying to grow me. I could live with that. But, the more I have stepped out of my religious bubble (faith is easy in isolation), I recognized that the same good stuff and bad crap that happened to me, to which I blamed God or "gave him the glory," happens to everybody else whether they pray or not.

The fact is, the people who are actively working and take risks are the ones who get rewarded and the ones who sit around and play the victim do not (If anyone takes issue with this statement, it is somewhat biblical to say this, depending on what your favorite verses are). We can even see this played out in religious circles. The results of leadership are a direct impact of the leaders vision and personality. Mega Churches have Mega Leaders and often have a good location on the interstate that was the result of some "lets go and conquer the land" campaign. On the other hand, the pastors who are not as energetic and dynamic and active do not see the same numbers. In a lot of cases, the pastors think the other is not following God because if they were, how could their church be like _________. I am not placing judgment on either one. I am just saying that this is the way it is.

As a matter of fact, these two hypothetical pastors can pray about the same things and end up with different answers. Not just pastors, but any two people can pray about the same stuff and end up with two diametrically opposed answers in many arenas, from abortion to marriage. Is God answering their prayers or is the answer a result of the desire of their heart as well as their presupposition about who God is?

A person who believes God wants them to be rich will take every opportunity to be rich. A person who does not believe that won't. Is this evidence of God's leadership or the culture in which they were raised?

I remember believing many things about people and opportunities in my life that I was sure would happen because it was God's will and it didn't. I also know people may have believed with all their heart things about me that were God's will that didn't happen. Anyone who has been around church a while has had someone tell them that God wants them to do something while thinking "God didn't tell me to do that."

Does God really answer prayer or lead us in a supernatural way or do we just fit the outcome or our choice into our faith paradigm? Right now, I am leaning toward the latter. People do what they want to do and believe they are supposed to do at certain turning points in their own life to meet their present need or desire and God gets the blame for it.

Many people (I have certainly been guilty) who go around saying that God led them to do this or that are often avoiding responsibility for themselves when they should be saying, "I want to tell you..." without using God as a prop. Is it necessarily less godly to do this? I think it could be more evident of God's power when we can change from a passive weakling (which I still am sometimes) to being able to stand on our own two feet and articulate the desires of our hearts and our feelings and then put them into action. It is being a good steward of our life and talent when we can do that.

While thus far I have focussed on the outcome of prayer, I also ponder the act of prayer. I often hear people say that prayer does not change God, but changes us. Maybe the outcome is different because our attitude is different.

When we talk to God, it can have a cathartic effect. It can allow us to vent. But, of course I still think the outcome of such discussions depends on our view of God rather than the reality of who God is. I know in my life and many others, I prayed tirelessly about some things and really did not see many breakthroughs. I finally saw change and progress after I jumped into a more psychological arena such as counseling and Adult Children of Alcoholic meetings for a while and finally understood why I was the way I was (depressed) and ways to talk myself out of it. I still have more progress to make, but stepping away from the "spiritual" as I understood it and finding these other things was like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. It was as if the answers were all around me and I was too busy looking up to see them.

When we talk to God in a group, others can be edified and encouraged (not that we do it to show off, but we all can admit it feels good to hear someone pray for us... c'mon be honest).

While all things are supernatural by default, because God created all things, is the impact of the act of prayer more of a psychological phenomenon than one that is specifically supernatural as a result of doing it?

Hmm... think about it for a while and then wrestle with me.

Have a great weekend.

Long overdue... Why "Snoop Donnie Don?"

This is a short sweet story. I have shared it with some on the blogs already, but it brings forth the aroma of sweet memories to think about it. Ahhh.
During the winters at college, I would often don a wool cap that was similar to those worn by some rappers at the time and some friends of mine in the cafeteria were joking around about it until my nickname became "Snoop Donnie Don." Now you know.

Good Sunday.

I have always been fascinated by the drums. Over the years, I have sat at some drum sets and manage to keep a simple beat. A few weeks ago I was farting around on the drumset at church and the pastor recommended that I come to rehearsal. If I was no good, the music guy would tell me to sit out. No problem for me. So, I went to rehearsal this week and the drummer, who is often out of town, was in town. So, I didn't play the drums this week. Maybe next time. But, he asked if I played bass and I said I could try it. I have owned a bass for more than 15 years and never pursued it seriously. But it is fun to play around with and get out my frustrations on. I gave it a shot. I wasn't perfect, but I got to play during the service and it was great. It was my first time to play this instrument in front of a crowd. I'll just go to rehearsal next week and say, "Whatcha need?" and I will do it. Hopefully, he won't need a singer. I am out of commission for that for at least a year.

I remember when i was younger, I was going to be the next great bass player in America. But, like many things I have a problem sticking with them. I must have ADHD.

After church, we had some friends over and I discovered the value of the food processor. For a good combination of foods, I recommend beer butt chicken (with my own blend of store bought seasoning), garlic mashed potatoes, and carrots with a little Tony Chachere's and some chicken broth. After a few minutes in the processor, it turned into a quite delicious and nutricious mush. Mmm.

Finally, you can see what a good day me an Kitty had. Since church is at night now, the cat and I had some opportunity to bond.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! or Please be quiet.

Many of you may be shocked that I would write something like this. It is not quite as shocking for you as it was for me the day I heard a mother tell her young teenage boy this exact phrase. This mother was a sub at my school and her son was a student. Unfortunately, I can say that in this case the person could probably be stereotyped by this statement and the context she said it in as she was also talked to about writing her son hall passes to keep him from getting tardies to class. Hmm.

Yep, it was a pleasant day for me. I was walking toward the door of the school as I probably forgot to bring something home and this teacher was walking out with her kids. I know I was in plain view. I was probably only a few feet away from her when she let this fly out of her mouth to her kid who was acting like any other teenager. Then afterwards looks at me..."Kids, you know how they are" is the message I got from that look.

I went on about my business, but I was also saddened as I realized that the cycle would continue on through her kids to her grandkids. I also wondered how this lady was talked to when she was younger that this would be normal for her. Hmm.

I was in shock. It is also ironic considering how I was ready to decussify America. I don't understand the point of cuss words really, why some words should be cuss words and some words shouldn't. As a kid, why would I be in trouble for saying some things that grown ups say all the time? Why does shit carry more weight to it than poop? (I mean the impact of the words, not that I think that shit and poop are two different substances that weigh differently). It really makes no sense in some ways. We all know that when someone says dang, they are really saying damn. Geez, lets stop pretending. They are just words. Yet, the reality is that they aren't just words.

I am culturally conditioned, like most people are, that there are some words that are only appropriate in certain contexts. I can't escape it. My reaction was in stark contrast to some of my recent thoughts about cuss words. I may lose readers (all five of them unless google brings me more for using the F-bomb up there) for my headline and actually find that my title is condemnable to hell.

Judging by the shock and reaction I had toward that lady at school that day, it is best that we all keep our F_words and other cuss words to ourselves, or with our like minded friends who appreciate a good dirty joke sometimes, or know when we are joking as we share the above phrase with them. But, to talk to a kid like this is heinous. I would rather trash my ideals of eradicating cuss words from being cuss words than to have the above scenario be the norm for society. I even wonder what I could have done to make a difference for this family as I have a feeling that this is representative of a more dire life for them. I don't think I knew her well enough to talk to her about that stuff. But, I can tell my wonderful readers (if they made it this far) watch your language around the kiddos and may whatever you say be salt and light.

Even though I oppose the free and careless use of these things we call cuss words (geez I hope I am not contradicting myself), I do admit that I would pay to see a preacher start a sermon with the above phrase and use it for such a good point that he does not get fired or get involved in heated controversy. Anyone up for the challenge? I have 10 dollars to spare. If not that, I will pay five for the word nipple (yes, I ripped this idea right off of TV).

Snoop Don Goes Sailing! (and happy 40th blog entry to me)

I had a great holiday weekend. I went up to the lake, where my grandparents live and my aunt has a weekend get away next door. When my aunt bought her house, a cute toy boat came with it. It is a real sailboat, just very small. I have never been sailing before now and I hope to go again someday.

My cousin, who took sailing (in a sunfish) lessons years ago took me out for a spin. As we were going, I reflected on how our ancestors had to depend on sails to get them moving across the ocean and as we drifted away from the dock, I thought how that must have really sucked... or blowed.... I think I will stick with sucked because for them blowing would have been a good thing. It was a good time sailing on the lake yesterday morning. I am the one on the right.

The process begins....

Read about the physical transformation that I will begin tomorrow.... Click on the side bar for my new blog. or click here. Transforming My Trap

Question of the Day! (or week, or month, or year)

Why do they call the Tank Top a Tank Top?
In all my years of watching war movies, I never saw a bunch of guys in a tank wearing Tank Tops.... I was just wondering.

Milestones

I know it has been a while since I have blogged. But, it is for good reasons. We have been going to PRIDE classes the last month. It has seriously occupied our evenings and while I have popped in for a comment or two on the blogs, I have failed to write.

Now that we have taken PRIDE classes, we are on our way to getting a homestudy to see if we can have a little one in our home through fostering and then hopefully adopting. If we foster a kid who goes up for adoption, we are the first choice for placement. We will see.

This has been a challenge for me. I have to come to the realization that my child will not look like me. I don't really have a racial preference, but whatever it will be will not be a part of my biological makeup. I am really having to wrestle with this, it really is just pride in me. If the kid is ours to love, who cares if it is the fruit of my loins or not. While avoiding the fact that I want a kid, and being hard headed at points to the frustration of Teach99, tears have popped up at the oddest of places.

We decided to register, because we want to share in this event with our family and friends as we get our room together for the little one. This has been another adventure.

On another note, I paid off my college loans today! I guess that I did this approximately 4 years early.

Finally... Coming soon to a blog near you, the documentation for Snoopdon's tranformation. No, I will not become a Donita, Maury.

Peace Out my homies.

George Bush visits my school!

I don't know what came over me. There it was, a sign in sheet. Waiting to be tainted by my deviant behavior. After I walked into the afternoon meeting, early of course, I signed my name and under "position" I put "teacher." In the next line, I put George Bush and under position "President." Stuff like this was common back for me in the day. I can't remember which day it was, but some time a while back I would sign a celebrity in for a meeting. I really did not try to hide it was me. If I had, I should have done a better job. Anyway, as the meeting goes forward, I somehow missed the fact or did not understand that the state education agency was going to get a copy of who showed up and signed their name for this meeting. As I was standing in the hall after the meeting, the flock of elders still inside and collecting things begin to murmur about who signed in as Bush. Because they know me, they hunted me down pretty quickly. In fact I was my department chair's first guess. And instead of getting to scratch it out, I got punished (as she laughed uncontrollably). I had to run around with a blank sheet to all corners of my massive school (big enough for 3,000 plus students) to hunt down signatures. Some of them thought I was a fool, while others cracked up hilariously. The Indian lady in TLC (kids in wheel chairs, some tube fed) really couldn't grasp why someone would do something so foolish, while the nice Spanish lady marveled in the hilarity of the situation... me misbehaving and going on a scavenger hunt for signatures. Some thought it was a political statement while it was just the first name that popped in my head. My "drinking buddy" John, acted as if I had told him the funniest joke in the bar when I needed his signature. Finally, when I got the signature from the school psychologist, who is a pretty good friend, she playfully.... well maybe a little seriously... said "Don't you feel like a fool now?" My response, with a big smartass grin on my face was. "No." In fact, I went on to tell her, it was one of the funnest things I have done in a long time. I went to places I normally don't go to and saw people I wouldn't normally see. I caused joyful laughter and even enjoyed the "you idiot" responses. I faced a side of life that I would normally avoid, seeing the kids in TLC bound to wheel chairs. Even in their almost vegetative state, those who could would gleefully wave when waved at. One kid was catatonic with a permanent smile. It must have been because he knew what I had done... yeah, its all about me isn't it. I need to go back again. I wonder what celebrity will show up at the next department meeting.

Wrestling with scriptural authority... Thanks Judas!

Is scripture authoritative? I ponder this more as the "Gospel of Judas" has been discovered this week. Some statements of faith describe the Bible as beeing "innerant" (a word with loaded meaning in different Christian circles, but basically means without error to one degree or another) in its original manuscripts. As the church grew and became more institutionalized, they also began to subscribe to their favorite writings involving how church life should be practiced. Collections of individual parchments (or whatever they had) of the writings of those they believed to be of authority, to pass the apostolic test to match their theological suppositions. Even back in the beginning of church life, it was not different than now. They wrestled with which books or parchment (not given verse assignments by the way) should be accepted as their rule for church life. As a result, some faction's writing were left out. As history progressed, we eventully have the "canon" of authority we have now and as you can tell, that does not inlude the book of Judas as well as some other writings. That may be a good thing. I haven't read them though I know the books that were left out have some stark theological contrasts to what we have. If your up for a fun project, research Gnosticism.

Keeping all this in mind, here is where my problem is. Humans are the same throughout history. History repeats itself. The winner writes history. Now, I can accept that writings from the apostles are authoritative. But, if we give authority to the canon we have now, are we to also trust that the people who subscribed to those pieces of Christian literature and gave it their stamp of approval are also equally authoritative in that we can really trust these humans to pick our books of faith without any personal bias? Maybe the answer would be in researching who was on the committee that picked our 66 books or more if you read the Catholic Bible. But, I don't have time to do that and we all know that no human is beyond reproach. Even one of the 12 (as our tradition shows us about Judas, until now) was a snake. From American Politics to the Southern Baptist Church, there is a long tradition of stuffing the committee with yes men. Why could it not be the same for the canonization committee that would have to have as much authority as the scripture itself if we follow the chain of logic. Who was probably on the committee? It could be likely that the committee was stuffed with a bunch of people from the winning side and the winning side is not always right is it? Nope... But, they still could be right too.

Now, this new Gospel of Judas that was discovered in a cave a while back claims that Judas had special knowledge (characteristic of early Gnostic teaching) of Jesus' destiny and ordered by Jesus to turn him over to the Romans. Judas was following orders. I really don't like that. Following the implications (and using the lense of those who win, which I was raised and educated with), I really don't like what this would say about Jesus. It makes him look like a manipulator and a little sneaky in my book. Our canon does not do that. But, even though I don't like that teaching, I also know that there are tons of other books out there that did not make it in either. The books made it in based on a standard created by men and I don't know yet if I can grant authority to them and therefore full authority to the book they gave me. Scripture is valuable, but is it fully authoritative? Even after taking several "biblical interpretation" classes, how far do we go in what we take literal and what we take allegorically. Many people of equal smarts and education disagree on these issues. Some are obviouly wrong to me while others sometimes aren't. Just pondering.

She called me.

Back in November, I posted "Will the bet pay off?" It highlighted some of my struggles as a young man and the teacher that saved my butt from academic destruction in my future years.

I never wrote a Part II as I promised. It was going to be about me sticking my neck out for a kid to keep her from getting put into even lower classes. As it turns out, she did not get her butt in gear, talks big, but suffered the consequences and I got "told ya' so" from one of my co-workers... not a mean one though.

Why am I bringing this up months later? Well, a little more than a week ago I got a phone call from the teacher who saved me. When I was in her class around 20 years ago, she was a newly becoming single lady in her mid 40's or so. When I talked to her days ago, she called to tell me that she was a month from getting married and moving to Chicago to be with a man that she has been corresponding and visiting with for the last few years. She will also be a grandmother a few weeks later and will be coming back to see her daughter and hopefully make a lunch date with me, my wife and my mother.

I was seriously touched that she would call me, her fifth grader from 1985-86. She provided the care that motivated me or she was willing to look past my shell and see who I really could be... or both. Teachers can't touch all of their students, but some will be glad to see you or come back to visit. I have already had a few during my short career.

Beer, Pancakes, and Answered Prayers.

The other night, St. Paddy's day, Teach and I went to a bar were a friend of a friend's uncle's brother's, cousin's, sister's, husband-in-law was playing in an alternative rock band. He was pretty good, though I liked the opening band a little better. The billing act at this free bar of a 100 or so... 50 or so... was just too monotonous for me to love them, but they were descent.

When I get there, some of my friends' other friends were there and already had plenty to drink. I watched them down three or four in a matter of the first thirty minutes I was there then hop in the van to juggle the kids from house to house. This was stupid. But, other than that, these guys have some crazy fun. During my two or so hours there, I just had a couple and then chased them down with some water and Teach and I were ready to go home while my jovial friends probably shut the place down.

Life is an endless party with these guys! I knew it was time to go home. Listening to these bands gets boring after a while anyway. I would rather be at karaoke where I am actually doing something. Anyway, since I couldn't sing that night, NTN trivia was a close second. While my friends were loading up on boose, I was proving how smart I was because I knew who the actor was in some distant movie. Anyway. After a while, it is time to leave.

On the way home, I was hoping to get some pancakes at the local IHOP. I was really craving the fruity country griddle cakes with strawberry topping. MMMMM... Teach did not want to go, so off by myself I went at 12:30 in the evening. "SnoopDonnieDon, party of 1." Yep, that's me... put me in the corner table where I can face the whole restaurant.... Thanks.

As I was sitting there at the table, while knowing how stupid my friends' behavior was, I was lamenting over the fact that I could have a lot more fun if I could loosen up like my friends. Why did I have to be so conscious all the time? Etc. Etc. Etc. Blah Blah Blah.... I can have fun, but it did not seem like I was having as much fun as they were. (Yep, still ocassionally working through the whole "who am I?" crap.)

I gobbled up my pancakes, guzzled more water, payed my bill and carried a few bites home to Teach who was supposed to be sleeping.

But, when I got home, I heard screaming, laughing, and breaking bottles from my neighbors' house (two mid-20's girls who are renting with their young boyfriends and like to party). I go inside to find my wife wide awake and fairly annoyed. I asked her if she thinks I should go talk to them and then I go out the front door and chicken out. Then I go inside and discuss it some more. I decide to go out the back door to peek over the fence to ask them to settle down.

Just when I go outside and turn the corner by my patio, I can see two of the guys playing like they are Hulk Hogan and getting closer and closer to my fence and closer and closer and CRASH, a whole section of my fence was wiped out by a couple of dumbasses who had too much beer. Geez! They got up, saw me standing there and before you know it, they had a "Holy Crap" look on their faces and began pointing fingers at each other about who had too many that night. (In the mean time, another one of their friends chimes in and offers me a cold one). All in all, they were very apologetic. "Dude, we are sorry. I will fix it first thing in the morning. We had too much to drink and got out of hand... You know how it is." I responded in a calm manner, "No, actually I don't." "Oh.... Well, I will fix it in the morning." "If you don't, I will remind you."

All is settled, then one of the girls (they really are pretty nice) comes out...."Oh my gosh! What did you guys do to Donnie's fence?! I'm so sorry (X10). We will fix it.... I am to old for this! I feel like a mom! You guys get inside!" and she herded them in like cattle and the rest of the night was peaceful. But, instead of sleeping in like I wanted, I woke up to the sounds of hammers in my back yard.

Good news... My fence is stronger now than it was before. More good news... I received a quick anwer to my question about why I can't be more like some of my friends. I have a reputation that I value and would never want to appear on someone's blog as the "dumbass who drank too much and crashed in my fence" or even worse than that... "The dumbass who killed my child, husband, wife, grandma, me (of course the person couldn't write the last one, but you know what I mean)..."

To all a good night!

Next one will not be about drinking I promise... But, I thought this was a good story anyway.

PS. Coming soon (hopefully (May or June) I will be starting a new photo blog, with comments, updated monthly about the physical transformation that I will soon be going through... Some of my readers already know. But I hope they won't give it away.... I hope I won't chicken out and erase this comment later.

And Jesus Said, "Go ye therefore into the bar...."

I am on a spiritual kick right now with my blogging.

In the past, I feared going into the bars mostly to protect my preacherly reputation. While in my heart, I wanted to be there and hang out with people. Now, as my regular readers know, I go in and sing and drink and fellowship.

This evening, as Teach99 was wrestling with students at the first shift of a school lock-in, I was hanging out with a co-worker over a Shiner, potato skins, and Buffalo wings! It was delicious. As we were socializing, we went over the weeks mishaps. We have many mishaps at our inner-city school. We shared about friends and family and without pretense, I could say hey, I started going back to church. He knew I used to be a preacher and actually did not know that I wasn't going.

We have been good friends for more than two years now. During my first year, we were neighbors and he was assigned to be my mentor. He is old enough to be my dad but acts younger than I do. We do duets together at Karaoke and counseling sessions at various bars. I would love everyone to see us jump on stage to "Takin' Care of Business." It is loads of fun.

I have seen him through good times and bad times and he the same with me. He is one of my "beer buddies" that I have acquired over the past year or two.

What is the point of all this? I noticed a situation that occured today at our after school incerveza (play on the word inservice). After we had our first round, I ordered water. I know he drinks a lot sometimes and after I ordered water, he had the opportunity to pause (because the bartender was flighty and ran off before my friend could respond) and think for a second and said, 'I will have water too.' That was awesome to me and made me think more of the isolationist view that people have at some of your more conservative evangelical churches...

The "us and them crap" that is propigated by most evangelical conservative preachers and serious church members is just crap and haughty arrogance that gives them an excuse to look down on others and feel better about themselves. It is all just "us." We are all in this mudhole together trying to find significance, meaning, and peace in life.

If my stepping out there and saying "water" instead of "beer" helped him to do the same and get home safely, then I am doing better ministry in darker places than any pastor of a mega church who may look down their noses at "those lost sinners who hang out in bars" and put on their big show on Sundays. What good are they doing for those in the darkest places. I doubt they will show a TV broadcast of the favorite preacher at a local pub.

What real good would I be doing if I were a preacher on a Sunday morning preaching against bar patrons and alcohol except to achieve job security for myself becuase I tow the line? The only way that the church can reach lost people is to be with lost people. This experience (as well as some others) has caused me to see the value of genuine relationships without the objectification of human beings for the purpose of propigating the gospel. When you have a good relationship, the gospel will happen naturally.

While I used to preach loudly and impatiently, I see how maybe just maybe I can lead silently instead and end up being a lot more productive.

Growing Up.

Growing up really is hard to do. We go through life, trying to sort out right and wrong and truth and fiction. Some of us do, if we aren't afraid. Sometimes these wrestlings can affect many things. They affect the way we relate to others. When we change, the system we lived in changes. This can be magnified and compounded when you leave for a while and come back. You can get the objective view you need when you leave for a while or at least I got the view I needed.

It was a while back when I was told that I came across as needy and childlike. I had to agree with that. I couldn't help it when it was the truth. Since then, I have become more purposeful about recognizing when I am still a child (being playful is okay) who is out looking for people to take care of me. More and more I have been growing toward thinking on my own and deciding for myself like an adult should. God gave me a brain and I can trust myself. I can also (honestly growing in this) be open to listening to others input. After weighing it out, if I agree with it I can follow the advice and spit it out if I disagree with it.

One of the things that came up around the same time was that I began wrestling with different faith issues. I went from dogmatic preacher man to acknowleging that what I was doing really met some underlying need of mine. The "light from the sky" calling experience became natural. I was heading toward preacherville for my own purposes whether I liked it or not. This was something I had to acknowledge. Something about the ministry clicked with something inside me. I needed acceptance and this was a way to get it. My heart was pure, but I did not realize what my real motivation was until many years after I was "called." A lot of good came out of that journey. But the root of it all was something natural.

This would explain a lot about why I was so depressed for a long time. I was after something that I was not getting. If anyone has ever known what it is like to be a minister at a typical church these days, you can be surrounded by some of the most critical people anyone has ever seen. Ministers are scarcastic about this phenomenon all the time..."My job is to put out fires" ... They tell young ministers... "Be careful, three strikes and you are out." ... "If you can do anything else, do it." Most recently, I heard a pastor honestly say that the typical tradiitional church is just looking for a chaplain or baby sitter. This does not sound like a place for someone who is intoxicated by the need for acceptance. No wonder I spent so many years depressed.

Realizing my motivations was a liberating experience. I realized that I was burned out and that my life calling should not be something that I view as drudgery. So, I quit and became a teacher (long story that I may have put in a previous blog). Being a teacher has helped me become an adult. It has helped me grow up, especially since I have to differenciate myself from a group of highschool kids... (even though I let myself get pulled into a joke contest the other day, I can tell that I have grown up during the past three years).

But, I am left with the question, "What about faith?" I can believe that there is a God who created everything around me. But, does God relate to me on a personal level? What is truthful about all the faith that I have carried with me all these years? Is Jesus the only way to heaven? More basically... Is there a heaven?

I can go from the heavenly to the personal.... "If there is a God, why did he ______? etc.

There is no single reason I found myself in this situation. It came from all directions. As I continued this journey, I began to realize (after hanging out at a few Al Anon meetings) that maybe it was not God that was messed up or absent, but my view of God that I had somehow acquired. Even though I was preparing for ministry academically, my relationship with God was sporadic and restless at best. It was bi-polar and unstable. While, in the mean time I was looking to the fallible and human church to accept me and meet my needyness and I didn't even realize it.

So, what about faith? The past 2.5 years that I have been going to some of my favorite churches (i.e. Bedside Baptist, Couch Cathedral, or the Table Tabernacle, I serve a good breakfast at the last church). My faith became more and more bi polar. One day I was a diest and the next I was a believer. This has been going on for a while.

I know that I have had friends and family praying for me. I have had several conversations with many of them over and over. I even met with a former seminary professor who was in my shoes and really gave me more comfort than answers. He is presently a chaplain at a nearby hospital.

When it gets down to it, none of my questions can be answered on a quantitative level and cannot be proven scientifically, much to my chagrin. It takes a leap of faith to believe. And, I must be able to live with the questions that I have while beleiving at the same time... I remember a man in the gospels who said "I believe... Help my unbelief." ... Something like that. It is the dichotomy of faith wrapped in the realization that even our faith (man's believing in something unseen) is not perfect. But, maybe even if I have questions, I can still move forward anyway.

Like I said before, I have had friends who are willing to listen to me and really wrestle with me and the issues. Jim, Dave, Maury, Mary Alice, and especially my wife and others that are too many to mention. Maybe coincedence, maybe not, Chad enters the scene. He and I showed up on the same blog and after some searching I was able to contact him. He is a lawyer. I always thought I would find him on a record shelf somewhere, someday. He knew me back when.... He lovingly admonished me to get back to church at a time when I was open to hearing it.

A few weeks before, Roy enters the scene. Roy is a neighbor who pastors a church nearby. After looking at his website, I went to go offer him some of my books that I thought would be helpful. We began to talk and share our life experiences. Talking to him gave me some hope for what a church can be; an authentic community with authentic relationships. To make a long story short, it seems that he has come to the realization that maybe Jesus intended the church to be more like a crockpot than a microwave. Slow, warm, simmering, longer lasting... not fast, quick, and easy. The result is the willingness to go to the darkest of places and relate with people who are not at all turned on by the mass marketing of the mega church (yes, go have a beer with someone if you feel led to). Another result is a deeper sweeter knowledge of Christ and his people (at the local church) rather than just time to fill on Sunday morning. One word.... Deep. I am inspired by the idea and it goes along with some of the stuff I know about reaching today's generation. The more I get to know Roy, I appreciate that he is willing to wrestle with faith, himself, and allow others to go on the journey of questioning without any sense of condemnation from him.

A while later, when Chad tells me to go to church, I realize that it is time and I decide to darken Roy's doorstep. It has been a challenge. Even though I know the truth and love what he is doing, it is taking an entire paradigm shift. How do I relate? Even though I hated the "Butt Kissing" session in the middle of the service and realized that it was fake when people who you have been sitting by silently for the last 20 minutes become your best friend for five seconds, this church does not have one and what do I do? I have had to wrestle off my old lenses and sit back and enjoy the ride. (By the way, before and after the service, we have found an opportunity to meet many warm and caring people.) Another phenomenon for me to wrestle with is a bit of social anxiety. When you go to a big church, you can hide for a while and escape as soon as possible. This is not so with a smaller church. That is really a good thing.

So, I have gone to the church for three weeks now. I have had the opportunity to get beaten by Roy at Monopoly and even Boggle dang it! Even though the three weeks were good, I must admit I was tempted to play hookie this past Sunday. After all, I did not want to get back into legalism. But, nevertheless I went. I was in the chair participating and listening, my mind whizzing out of control like it usually does. My head was tight and full of anxiety, which I realized was something I do to escape and run away while still being present. As Roy preached about the Lord's Prayer, and gave me some new insight, I slowly let go and the momentum of my spinning thoughts, came to a pleasant meandering pace as I allowed myself to deal with myself and what God was teaching me during that moment. As they closed with a time of reverence and open communion (people walked forward at their own pace), I sat in my seat and cried unbearably over some of the things that I had done. One thing is using God's name for my own purposes. I went from running away, which can only be done for so long, to saying "I'm sorry Jesus."

Since that day, did I become Mr. Gunghobackfromcamp? No. I want to keep it real this time. I want to put the new wine in new wine skins. I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't want to approach my new faith (best term I could think of) in the old ways that burned me out. I did not set lofty spiritual goals to quantify my faith. I did not read the Bible. I still don't know for certain all the answers to my questions. Even if I believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven, I would hate to be so dogmatic about it that I would be pissed off if I found others there someday (I got this from the former seminary professor/chaplain and I agree with it). For the first time in a long time, I am open. I think I am really open. I have some peace. God will take care of the rest. Thats okay, I need to lighten up... I can't do it on my own.


Next time.... It is okay to love yourself!

Snoopdon Update!

While I have found time to heckle one of my occasional blog "buddies," I have been neglecting my post in the cybersphere. I have been neglecting the keyboard for other pursuits that leave me empty by the end of the night. Some of the pursuits are worthwhile while others are a waste of time, to be honest. Here is a quick rundown in a poetic patter.

Reading Blogs but not Writing,
loving wife, but not fighting,
living life on less food,
watching TV, not so good,
going out to exercise,
bikers, walkers, wizzing by
trying to lose weight and gain some soul
oops, this week I did not meet my goal
before your face contorts,
do not fret, I was just a pound short.
For this weeks punishment,
No room for libatious refreshments,
I don't care that's okay
This week I will meet my goal anyway.
Out for more exercise, this last week was short.
unforunately my foot was hurt. (I know this made a difference for my goal)
online games are a waste of time,
I could do better with this time of mine.
Always have time to pet my cat
His diet worked he is no longer fat.
Playing guitar with all my heart,
Maybe someday I will be a superstar.
Or I could sell a song to someone cool
to hear my song on the radio would be cool....
(I got stuck on this rhyme)
Will you still be a friend of mine.
Other than this, still finding my way, finding my faith, soon I pray.
Found a good church to visit on Sundays.
Something different from the norm.
Institutional tradition is not their form.
Adoption is an option that we explore
hopefully soon we will have one to adore.
Sometimes happy sometimes sad.
That is all from Snoopdon DRad

And to all a good night.

Glory Road....

Me and teach99 saw Glory Road this evening. I must say that it was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. It is full of humor and inspiration as you travel with this newly integrated basketball team through their journey involving both the torture of prejudice and the thrill of victory on the court. I am thankful our country has come much further in the area of race relations and these guys were major contributors to that. Go see the movie!

Wine Blogger or Tea Totaler?

I like a good glass of wine every once in a while. Not only does wine provide me with the opportunity for a tasty beverage, it gives me the opportunity to speak and learn words from a variety of languages. Chardonnay, Merlot, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, Sake (a good way to get your rice by the way), Port, Shiraz, Muscadelle, Bordeuax, Red, and White... Even though I can say these correctly, who knows how my spelling is (call the grammar police!). I think a few of my favorites to say, after reading a list on the internet, are Gewurztraminer (go figure, this is a French wine and it sounds German to me) and Bastardo an inferior variety from Portugal (no explanation needed why this makes me giggle... ask for this at your local wine shop... I would like a good Bastardo please).

Say these names over and over again and you will have a lot of fun. Say them over and over again after a few glasses and you will be speaking in tongues to the degree that it would make any Charismatic Christian jealous because you can do it better and won't even have to fake it.

But, when I go shopping for wine I am clueless. When the wife asked if we could get some wine my reply was, "Don't you whine enough?" She raised her fist at me and I replied that, "A little wine with that punch would make some good Sangria."

Nevertheless, I don't know what to look for in a good wine. The names above mean nothing to me. So, like a child on the cereal rack I am left to looking for pictures of cute characters and animals. That is why we settled on "the Little Penguin." If the picture is cute it must be good. Maybe someday, this little guy will get some good competition. If "Chilly Willy" were to come out with some wine, I would probably try it... as long as there is a prize inside.

Diet... When food becomes medicine.

Ah, a moment away from the guitar. I really cannot put it down. I am learning music and writing my own. The irony of the whole thing is that rather than rock, I am learning Bach. I can pick out Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring pretty well, until I get to the accidental sharps and flats of the second half. But, each day I notice it is getting a little better. Then when I get too frustrated, I turn to banging out some new, rocking chord progression. It is about time for me to put some on tape before I forget them. When I get better, maybe I well invest in some recording equpment and burn some samples. That would be nice.

Oh yeah, my title. What was I going to talk about?... The diet.

If any of you have read Teach 99 lately, you know that we are dieting. It is tough. I am trying a different approach to the whole dieting thing. Being overweight... I happen to need to lose about 30 pounds myself... is a sickness. I have made myself sick becuase of my bad eating habits. It is a natural consequence. So now, I must change my mind about the food I eat. I need to consider it as the medicine that will get me better. When a doctor prescribes medication, he prescribes dosage as well as type. I will eat food that is good for me as well as stick to an amount, no questions asked. No longer will I be eating meals, I will accept that I am going through a treatment program, and the food I used to eat (minus the obvious bad foods) will now be medication to make me better.

As with any medication, there will be side effects that I need to accept. I will feel hungry. I may get a headache. But, in the end I will feel better. Before anyone thinks I am starving myself, I am not. A few years ago, a dietician friend set us up on a plan. I still get 2000 calories a day, but the crazy thing is how much less that is than what I usually eat, after the servings are meted out with scales and measuring cups instead of my food lusting heart. Will my change of mind result in a successful diet? I hope so. More than that, I hope it will be a lifestyle change for me. We will continue to update here, but mostly on Teach 99. Also, I jumped on the treadmill today and later this week I might go for a bike ride. Yippy!

New Years Day Escape!

Our teacher vacation is almost over. Today, the wife and I escaped to the coast for grub and sightseeing. After looking at a friends pictures online today, I thought I would give the camera a workout. I hope you enjoy the pics. No FX on these. I will try that later.

Beach Photos - I am not certain I got the effect I was looking for on this first picture, the grass is only about 2.5 inches tall. I hope it looks bigger. It sort of does....







Lunch Photos...









Shopping/Street Scenery










Bottles Behaving Badly! (Litter)