Upcoming.... Counseling appt.

It has been a while since I have posted. I got swept in the facebook wave and really doesn't do much for me except depress me. I am an attention addict who is sometimes very disappointed that not one of my almost 700 facebook friends has paid any attention to me at any  given log in. I feel worse when I get off of it than I was before I got on. In addition, the amount of trivia outweighs anything important. I really don't care that my friends went to McDonald's or bought a new guitar for the 10th time. It is definitely overload. I don't need anymore pressure. I am looking for a full time job, feel inadequate as a provider, dealing with the consequences of my previous decisions which I have learned a lot of valuable lessons from and still haven't recovered, the loss of several close relatives including my little brother's suicide in January and recently found out that some close relatives are splitting up. While they seem happy about the decision, I don't think it has to be that way if they would have gotten some help. But, I can't judge. Speaking of counseling, I am going to my appt. in a few weeks. It is time. I have reached the end of my ability to fix myself and use all the counseling techniques I know. I feel like I have given up, but for me to try to be my own counselor is like a hairstylist cutting their own hair. It really is silly. I am almost 40, time to be functional.