There was a point in my life when I was younger that I grew tired of the same old advice and stories over and over again. But, after some time of getting the same old lectures about drinking, driving, education, and whatever else came up, I realized that it was because he really cared and he did not want to see me or others go through some of the same mistakes he made when he was younger. To hear his stories and advice is a way to experience a hug without being touched. In fact, this last time that I visited him, I got hugged a lot in the form of 'be careful about riding with the cat in the car because he might get stuck under the pedals... in case you hadn't thought about that.'
The last few years, I have made it a point to go out of my way to see him. This year, rather than with either of our parents, J. Rad and I spent Thanksgiving with my grandparents. Who knows how many more we will have...
This Thanksgiving I planned on an extra special outing, realizing during playoff season what a Spurs fan my grandfather was, I decided I would take him to his first NBA pro basketball game. I called him the week before and asked him if he wanted to go and told him that it would be just him and me. Being that he is a homebody, he had to mull it over for a few minutes when he finally said, "I don't think I can pass that up." I was elated.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving came along and I asked him upon my arrival if he was ready for the game and his response was, "I don't exactly know what you are talking about." Yikes. I knew his memory was not what it used to be, but he was supposed to remember the game for goodness sake. I had a mental situation to deal with there. As the week progressed, we continued to talk about the game and how he was going and realizing none of us were giving him a choice that he was going, he went along for the ride. J. Rad and Maw Maw dropped us off at the gate and that further confused my grandfather...
"Where are they going?" he asked.
"They are going out to eat and shopping," I said.
"Why aren't they coming with us?"
"Because they are going to go do lady things while we do guy stuff."
"Who said they couldn't go with us?"
"I did."
"Now, how are we going to get back with them?"
"I will call them on the cell phone and they will pick us up where they left us."
We continued to go to Will Call and pick up the tix and then meander to our seats and then leave our seats for snacks and make it back with minutes to spare before the game started. I had a hot dog and a Coke. He didn't want a hot dog but was happy to let me get him a Coke after telling him it was my present for him. He told me he didn't want to share my peanuts either, but happily put out his hand when I had shelled them for him. He sat in the seat mesmerized by the sights and the plays. He didn't really say anything during the game except when I asked him how he liked it and he said it was fine. He let out a little giggle when I kept telling him he had to cheer louder so the team could win. He still sat mesmerized and the team did not win. It was 99 to 106. The Bulls won.
In the end, I had to get a picture because I would regret it if I didn't. He made sure that the picture had the court in the background. Did he have a good time? Yes he did. We talked about it the next morning and he seemed touched that we drug him out by his ear to do something he would not have done on his own. Whether he remembers it now, I know that for that moment he was able to experience something that was meaningful to him and something that he could experience the first time in his life. "Did he have a good time?" I am asking again. Well, as the old saying goes.... A picture is worth a thousand words...
