I teach in a school where I am a definite minority. The population of my school consists of 40% Hispanic, 40% Black, and a mixture of many others. There maybe 5% white in my school. Over the years I have talked about adopting and my students would ask me if I would adopt a black baby. I could not see how I could turn down any baby no matter what the race. I (with a little reluctance) said yes.
As we progressed through our process, the idea of a little Chinese girl sounded good to me. But, one day at church, I saw the most beutiful little Chinese newborn. While thinking she was cute, I began to get choked up. The reality is that I was mourning the fact that she did not look like me. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a racist. I love and interact with all kinds of people. But, when it came to kids, even I had to mourn my lack of biological capability.
I have even had to adjust a little to Charlie. He is biracial. In some lighting he looks white like me. In other lighting, he has some color to him. After a few weeks of trying to fit him into a category, I realized that he is just a human being. While respecting others' cultural preferences and how they influence them, I think that this is really the best way to look at people. The boy has stolen my heart. He is mine.
As irony would have it, or the fact that people would see what they think they should, I am hearing over and over that he looks like me. I saw it when I first met him. He reminded me of myself in some baby pictures. My mom saw it. Others have seen it. Some have said that he has hair "like his daddy." There have been a few more. Finally, the other day when I came into the daycare to pick up Charlie, the owner or manager was like "WOW" he looks like his dad. She was astonished when we told her the whole story and could not believe it. It is an unpredictable blessing for me.
As he gets older, having seen pictures of his brother, it is possible that the differences will be more noticeable. But that won't matter. I hope he will continue to look like me in other ways.... honesty, for the most part integrity, caring, empathy, humor.... and I can go on and on. I just hope I can do a good job of making good character a permanent part of his life.
He is doing good. He is eating four meals a day (including cereal with banana and cereal with squash) and sometimes a few ounces of bottle for a booster before bed time. Except for turning him around in his bed and popping his "sucky thing" back in his mouth, he has been sleeping all night. I feel guilty leaving him during the day. I love to stay home and play with him. He is getting used to it. Right now he is crying.... got to go : )
