Being a stay at home dad has been amazing the last 6 and a half weeks. I guess you could say I have bonded with the boy. We have been together for some good times and bad times and some times that made me cry with him. Tomorrow, I have to go back. If it were not for my contract, I would quit. But that would not be the right thing. Hopefully we can find an answer by next year so that one of us could stay home with him for a few years. A good night job would be a good idea. (Any ideas anyone?). Maybe I can still make it big as a rock star, make my million and we can both stay home with Charlie... After all, I am a drummer now too.
I was actually confused with a real drummer this weekend. Some of my all time best friends came by to visit with their new baby. He is absolutely adorable. I took Jim out to show him the borrowed drumset that I have been playing on and played a little so he would know I was not pretending. When we came in, Amy described Ryan's reaction to Jim's drumming. Jim let her know it was me. Since Jim is a great drummer, that made me pretty happy for her to think that was him instead of me. I had a similar experience on the trumpet one time. That is another story.
We had a good visit. We compared notes of being a new parent... eating habits, sleeping habits, pooping habits. We talked about how our lives have changed and how we cannot imagine life without the new little one. They talked about feelings related to dropping their boy of with child care during the day. Amy lets Jim drop their boy off so she will not have to deal with some of the emotions (keep reading Amy). I'll be honest, I thought to myself that she was a wus for doing that (Still keep reading Amy).
Well, today is my last day with Charlie. This morning, we went to the doctor. After that, he went shopping with his mommy, "grani," aunt and cousins today while I took care of some errands and saw a movie and ate some enchaladas (I think I mispelled enchalada, but don't really feel it is important enough to look up right now. ) at my favorite restaurant. I had a great but busy few weeks and welcomed the break. After the food and before the movie, I was home for a bit, by myself, thinking of what to do next, and then it hit me that tomorrow he was going to daycare. I began to sob terribly for a good five minutes saying "I don't want my baby in day care!" Tears. Yelping. Wussy behavior I tell you. I guess I am a dad now. It is both proof of my love for the kiddo and reminder of exactly why I was so resistant for such a long time. My guard had to come down. Anybody who has seen him knows it wasn't too hard for my guard to come down. I am not as tough as I like to think I am. None of us really are. Some are just better at pretending.
